20.6.08

Circling back



We circle back upon ourselves. An ever-widening spiral. Nine months ago, I hadn't let myself think about how much I missed my hometown and family. I couldn't go there because our return was fleeting, just months. I didn't want to have my heart broken at leaving again. Nine months later I learned something else. I really missed the place that had become home to me now: Madison, Wisconsin.
I hadn't understood that love of place is not a mutually exclusive phenomenon. You don't give your heart to one place at the exclusion of any other. It can be strange to feel simultaneous loss and gain. I knew it would be hard to leave Montreal again. But I hadn't expected to feel so much joy and anticipation at our return to this little midwestern town.
The little winged samara feels it too. He walked the perimeter of his new home for the first few days and then seemingly realized this is now his place. At the end of a long day he will walk in the door and audibly sigh. Sometimes lie down on the floor with relief at being back in "his" space.
I wonder if he too will one day come to feel like his heart lies in many different places. And if so, I hope it makes him feel as rich as I do.

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